I recently spoke to a perspective client about starting therapy – it was really interesting as there is obviously a need as there is significant ‘stuff’ going on from childhood. I talked them through what would happen and how it is generally for a client when we first start to talk.
The biggest take I got from the chat was the main fear of the client – why she didn’t want to start therapy, the fear of opening up a can of worms (yeah, more cliches) the fear that once we started that her entire life would be turned upside down and she would be completely out of control.
I get the fear, I really do; someone poking around inside of my head was a very daunting and scary idea. What would they find out, would they get me clucking like a chicken or any other weird head shrinker weirdness?
Whenever we do deal with long term issues and problems, then it is in a controlled way, we don’t crack open the worm can and then at the end of the 50 minutes session throw you out until next week – we are experts at making sure that you leave each session able to go about your business and live your life.
We receive years of training and that means that areas of abuse and trauma are carefully handled and brought into awareness and that patterns of behaviour are identified so that for once you have the power, and you have choices and are not left a gibbering wreck.
Of course, we all have ‘stuff’ from our history but if that ‘stuff’ is out of control or the controls measure that control the ‘stuff’ no longer work then it is time to talk to us. We don’t use any torture devices and will go at your pace, but what would it feel like to finally talk about it and get it sorted?
Some tell-tell signs – you feel lazy or guilty if you aren’t busy
You spend any free time cleaning or being busy on social networks
You don’t treat yourself – work stuff is okay but never buy luxury things for you
You can’t stay still or just be in your own head without starting to be overwhelmed or scared by the emotions
You have noticed that other people are allowed to take time off or do things for themselves but you couldn’t possibly do it.
You have gone through bad childhood experiences that other people have not – that your normal isn’t normal at all?
You feel shame about what happened to you in your past.
All of these and many more might suggest that you could do with some help.
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