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  • Nick

Run a business they said...

it will be fun, they said...


Having over twenty years of running a business it is sometimes hard to remember the fun times. They are there, of course, but just hidden and it seems soon forgotten when the next thing that needs sorting pops up in a meeting or in your inbox.

The drive to carry on is the most important part of running a business as hey, who else will? Dealing with the 'fun' of running a business is individual to everybody; some exercise and eat well (yeah right), some shout, some just work harder and harder and get their heads down. On my initial message to you on LinkedIn, I have talked about the isolation that comes from running a business; the idea of you can't talk to the people around you as it will scare the bejesus out of them. If it is your partner, then is the house in trouble; if it is the staff then, is my job in trouble and you are stuck, on your own and with nowhere to go.


What do you do with the 'fun'?

1: Poor sleep?

Awake for hours at night

2: Not taking care of your self?

Bad food, no exercise and too much drink

3: Not talking?

Not talking about what you are going through

4: Get your head down

I will sort myself out in the future

5: Relationships can wait

Slowly the important people in your life are left behind

Long term affects?

Where do we start? Anxiety can cause significant health issues but all anxiety is doing is telling you that you are in danger; studies have said that after 90 seconds all the chemicals released have dissipated so as long as you only feel anxious for 90 seconds you are fine (be honest).

Stress and isolation - I have joined these two because they have similar impact on you. Decreased health, increased chances of stroke, heart disease etc, etc, etc - you have heard it hundred times before, yet, we still ignore it and get on with working.

Not being yourself - you change, you become less tolerant of staff (I know they sometimes deserve it), and even angry and short tempered with your family. This is all okay for a short time but if this has lasted then maybe you need to do something about it.



Three areas to look at

Physical:

You know exactly what you need to do, if not going a speak to a doctor or anyone who will tell you to eat better and get some exercise.



Environmental:

Love this one - stop doing what you are doing and work less hours, go and relax and have a spa day. Maybe retire and sit on a beach - I could go on.


Emotional:

The other two are your areas, the third is my speciality. Did you know that Roger Federer had 10 different coaches? 10 and he was pretty good at what he did; he didn't chance anything and made sure he had the best help he could find. Most people think that they don't need help and that what is the point of talking - this is my favourite kind of client as they are the ones who have on their own 'talked' themselves into feeling bad about themselves or their life. Your internal voice is based on emotions and so can be very persuasive and very negative and I am sure you have reactions to things which you don't truly understand - add to the values and benefits our parents have given us and hey presto you have a mix which leads to confusion, friction and just not really being happy.





Asking for help is probably the bravest step my clients make; knowing they want to feel different and be better is the place to start but what happens when you do ask for help?

1: Initial chat. 20 minutes or so on the phone or via Zoom means we can talk through what is going on with you and we can see if we want to work together

2: First appointment - I can come to you or you can come to a quite business park where you will be easily parked amongst 10 other business so can be assured of complete confidentiality.

3: We will talk through what you are feeling and what you are experiencing and agree on a way forward; most clients feel some benefits straight away - but if it has taken 30 years to get to where you are, it's not going to take an hour to sort out all of yours issues.

4: We will build trust and I will build an environment where you can tell me anything; you will be surprised how quickly trust comes and you will see change.

5: I am not one of these therapist that just repeats back - so how did that make you feel? I have 25 years in different industries working for large and small companies, government and real work and so I know the importance and time and getting results.

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